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I think I'm going Quackers

9th November, 2009. 9:34 pm.

i don't even know if i can write this.... My husband died on thursday. He killed himself and i found him. which i really don't understand cuz we were so happy. we have a beautiful house 3 beautiful kids and we were so in love. I dont' want this to be reality! i dont want to have to be alone. i just want my husband back! i dont want to have to tell my daughter about her father to know her. He should be here cuz they love each other so much... ok yeah can't do this....

(1 kiss | kiss me)

25th October, 2008. 2:06 pm.

So i was suppost to have my graduation yesturday, but on wensday i get a call from my school saying that my externship droped me cuz i have missed to many days, even tho my externship told me it was ok that i was gone because i had a bad cold, but they couldn't reinstate me in extership cuz i had no prof of why i was out. So now i have to wait til nov 15 to start my extership all over again and because of that i wasnt able to walk yesturday. I kinda feel like a failure cuz my whole family came out here to see me graduate then two days before it happends i find out im not. My mom says its just a family reunin and celebrating me having a baby but its just not the same. And im trying to just put it besides me but its kinda hard when one of my bestfriends calls me and tells me everyone was asking where i was. And then it really doesn't help that my family still gets me my graduation present, which is a laptop, and i dont feel like i deserve it, but i love my family for still being proud of me. but it kinda feels good to get some of this off my chest. i still have one other problem, but its not something i can talk about right now. but about my pregnancy, its going really good. im starting to show, i look preggos. Im at 3 months now. and i think im finally over my morning sickness thank god, but now im just eatting. lol but i gotta go cuz i should get back to my family.

(kiss me)

5th April, 2008. 1:11 pm. My life as of now

It has been a really long time since i have written anything. Obviously a lot has changed. I now live in Houston tx. been here for about 2 years now. I like it, but its a lot different from cali. And man do i miss cali... but here is where i need to be right now. Im in college right now and i graduate in 3 months. im really excited. i will be a medical assistant. i will be a lot closer to my  dream job. I love my school tho. i have made a lot of friends there that i will probably have. i made two bestfriends there, amanda and joanna. they are awsome. they are both moms (but im surrounded by kids and families right now). I really don't know what i would do with out them sometimes. Another big change is that Randy(my bestfriend since 3rd grade) moved out here about a month ago. We actually started a relationship and its going pretty good. Im really not use to living with a bf, but i will get use to it. A good relationship is about compremise and giving more than taking, and i am really trying to do those things. but its really hard when i have been on my own for a while. but i do love him and we have been through hell and back with eachother. There's only one thing that has really been bugging me but thats all on me and my insucurities. He was engaged to another chick just like i was engaged twice before hand, but for some reason i can't wrap my head around him still wanting to be friend with her. they just broke up not to long ago and it make me worried that they are still talking about their feelings and all that crap. but like i said its probably not happening its just me being stupid.... well i am going to try to keep updating, even tho nobody will probably read this, but so far this has helped me.....  otay laterz then....

Current mood: blah.

(2 kisses | kiss me)

22nd August, 2004. 4:07 pm. wow....

Its been a long time since i have last written. I would've written lately, but my computer fucked up on me so i have to use a friends computer. Well life for me is ok. I still have all my family drama, which seems to get worst and worst. But things with my boyfriend Nathan are great. We have been together for 6 months now. I couldn't be happier with him. My friends... well i miss them horribly. I barely talk to my friends in Pomona any more and I have like two or three friends in Hawthorne. But Im still surviving. So how are all of you peoples. I am planing on going to the first football game for Ganesha and i am going to bring Nathan. Ohh ya... Nathan gets off house arrest in about 3 weeks, September 9 to be exact. I can't wait. The first weekend he is off i am taking him to my moms house in Pomona for her b-day. Thats going to be interesting. Well I should go because I am using my friends computer.
If any of my friends from Pomona wanna talk to me they can call me and i will find a way to come see you all. I do miss you guyz. You have no idea....


Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: discontent.

(9 kisses | kiss me)

27th July, 2004. 10:33 pm.

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...erotic
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...irresistable
Your smell is...beautiful
Your smile is...encouraging
Your love is...everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!

(kiss me)

13th June, 2004. 10:13 am. Wow... it's been a while....

Long time....
I am doing pretty good. I have my ups and my downs but over all a lot better than i was the last time i posted. Im sorry i haven't posted. Every time i plan on posting i either go and do something or i get side tracked. But im doing it now right?
Im so happy school is out next week!! I miss those summer days of doing absolutely nothing and sleeping for hours on end! lol. Too bad my summer won't be like that. I am going today to try to get a job. I need one badly. So badly that i am going to fill out the applications there and turn them in today. I need money for a car, clothes and to help my aunt out with things(even if she says i don't need to).
Yesturday i had to go to my moms. Ohh god that turned out horrible. We had our "discussion" (and everyone who knows my mom knows that means fighting). We talked about how long i plan on staying with my aunt and i told her that im not coming home and why and she got hurt and angry. I made my point with reasonable points and stayed calm through the whole thing and she still started yelling and screaming at me and my aunt. It just reminded me of why im not there anymore. The one thing she said that just tore me apart was that she thinks being in a relationship with nathan is bad. Her thing is that since his past was bad and hes paying for it no(house arrest) that he's a bad kid. Then she says that hes too old for me and im not ready for it. Bullshit hes only 3 years older than me. Thats nothing. And she said i should stop dating him and if she has anything to do with it i will. I thought that was completely wrong, cuz right now he is one really positive thing in my life. Just think of it this way- im alive because i have him. I fell in love with him and he is helping me more than anyone can possibly believe.
Ok sorry about that, if you know me well enough, you know if i believe strongly about something i will debate and fight for it.
I should go though, cuz I need to go look for a job and i need to get all prettied up so someone will want to hire me. lol


Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: determined.

(2 kisses | kiss me)

1st May, 2004. 3:02 am. hewo...

Hello everyone. I haven't updated in a while. I thought I would have been posting a lot more, but i guess not. Well, I've been doing a lot better. I've actually been dealing with my issues and when i can't take it, i keep myself busy. To keep my busy and sane I usually write, listen to music, go to Nathan's (he's on house arrest now), or call my friends in Pomona. Don't I just have a exciting life? lol. I don't care if its exciting or not, im out of my mom's house and am keeping myself alive. I'm now enrolled into school in Hawthorne. I start monday. I'm kinda scared to start at a new school, i don't know anyone!!

I really do miss my friends in Pomona and my guard. Tomorrow is the May time parade, and it's killing me that im not in it. I wish them the best of luck, but I feel so bad that i let my guard down like this. I left them just 2 or 3 weeks before may time parade. But what can i do? I really miss Chibi and Shorty. I haven't talked to Chibi since my od and I haven't talked to shorty in about 2 weeks. I wanna talk to chibi, but she doesn't want to talk to me cuz of my mom and all that shit, but im away from it now. ehh what can i do, i can't change her mind. I have tried calling shorty, but whenever i call she's never home. I even called on her birthday.

 I will try to write more often. See ya laterz

 Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: discontent.

(1 kiss | kiss me)

24th April, 2004. 2:12 am. I'm bored!!

- Full name: Sara Ann Chandler
- Nickname/s: duckie and SaraBeara
- Location: Hawthorne, CA
- Natural Hair color: Blonde
- Present Hair color: Blonde and Brown. It looks great!!
- Eye color: blue
- Religion: none, i just believe
- Sexual Preference: both ways baby
- Bra size/Penis size: 34 B

[The Nosey]

- What color is your underwear? black
- Girls, is your bra padded/do you stuff it? nope
- Do you have a crush on someone? yup
- Who do you have a crush on? This guy Nathan who I started dating about a month ago....I've talked about him before...
- Does anyone have a crush on you? Yup...Nathan
- What turns you on? wouldn't you like to know??
- What turns you off? bad breath, treating me badly, or bad BO
- Which celebrities do you find attractive? jhonny depp
- Which celebrities would you make out with given the chance?Jhonny Depp
- Which of your friends do you find attractive? most of them, and they know if they're one of them.


- Have you ever watched porn? Yes
- Did you enjoy it? not the one about the shoe!!! lol
- Do you fuck or make love? make love
- Have you ever had sex with a girl? sure have
- Have you ever had sex with a boy? no shit!
- Have you ever kissed a girl? yup
- Have you ever kissed a boy? yes
- Have you ever gone down on someone? yes
- Has anyone gone down on you? yes
- Have you ever used any sex toys? no
- Do you masturbate? who doesn't? Expect one person I know..gab...
- Do you like S&M? sure do... im a scorpio!!
- Do you like making out? yup
- Are you sexually shy? not really
- How many sexual partners have you had? 5
- Do you have any sexual tips you'd like to share? no.. you need to learn the tips through experience
- Would you ever make out with someone who is ugly? Being ugly don't mean shit.
- Would you ever make out with someone who is really fat/really thin? again, doesn't mean shit!
- Would you ever make out with someone who has bad hygiene? hell no
- Who do you want to have sex with right now? wouldn't you like to know.
- Are you a kitten in bed? if that means being fisty... then yes.
- When was your last perverted dream? i wish i could remeber my dreams, but i just remember the nightmares
- What/who was it about? like I said before... I don't remember.
- Where is the weirdest place you've ever had sex? my moms bed. hehe
- Have you done it in public? nope
- Are you comfortable being naked around people? my friends ya.
- When was your last orgasm? why do you want to know? Nosey people!
- What gives you goosebumps? back rubs or touching my stomach or neck.

[The Morals]

- Would you kiss someone you don't love? nope
- Would you have sex with someone you don't love? nope
- Do you believe in sex before marriage? yes
- Have you ever been in love? yes
- Do you want to get married? yes

[The Ending]

- What is the time? 2:24
- How long did this take you? A good 15 or 20 mins.
- Did you enjoy this? sure why not.
- What did you do most during this survey? smoked
- Any final thoughts? umm.... boo...


First real kiss: William
First job: babysitting
First screen name: NotSoInnocent077
First self-purchased album: don't remember
First funeral: my great gradmother
First pets: Max
First piercing: ears
First love: William
First big trip: Orgeon
Last big car ride: From Nevada to Santa Maria
Last kiss: Nathan
Last good cry: today
Last movie seen: Kill Bill Vol 1
Last beverage drank: Apple Juice
Last food consumed: ummm.... food when??
Last phone call: Think it was Nathan
Last TV show watched: MTV
Last shoes worn: chucks
Last CD played: Brand New
Last item bought: Smokes
Last disappointment: my friends being two faced
Last ice cream eaten: don't remember
Last shirt worn: blue tank top
current clothing: blue sweets and blue tank top.
current mood: bored
current taste: apple juice
current hair: up in a pony tail
current annoyance: cramps... ohh i hate them
current smell: smoke
current thing you ought to be doing: sleeping
current jewelry: my watch and Nathan's necklace
current book: Courage to Heal
current refreshment: Apple Juice
current worry: my mom to never stop being mad/hurt at or by me
current crush: Duhh Nathan
current favorite celebrity: Juila Stiles
current longing: Not being bored!
current music: nada
current wish: To be skinnier
current lyric in your head: I'm going to be 18 forever.
current makeup (if you're a girl!): cover-up, mascara, and thats about it,
current undergarments: the normal.. bra and underwear
current regret: Talking to my sister about something tonight.
current desktop picture: Pat Benatar
current plans for tonight/weekend: hmm...go see Nathan, get my nails done, look for a job and do laundry
current cuss word du jour: fuck you or Bitch ass mother fucker. hehe
current disappointment: dont get me started
current amusement: this computer
current IM/person you're talking to: no one right now
current love: love? my friends and family
current obsession: my poems
current avoidance: getting screwed over or getting hurt.
current thing or things on your wall: Syndee's nicknacks
current favorite book: The Courage to Heal or my poems book
current favorite movie: 10 Things I hate about you.



Can you tell I was bored? Ok laterz

Current mood: annoyed.

(4 kisses | kiss me)

18th April, 2004. 2:33 am. A day as a duck

Today was a lot better for me. Only bad thing for me lately is that I can't sleep. I got a hour of sleep yesterday and It's 2:21 am and i can't sleep. I have too much on my mind to sleep. fun! Today was basically a kick back day for me. I was on www.deviantart.com most of the morning/afternoon, putting my poems on there. Then me and syndee had a talk. We talked about the ground rules and what's going to happen. Basically if I don't bullshit her and I help around the house, then I'm all good. And she said I can stay as long as I need to. YAY. So I'm really not sure when I am going back to my moms. I know I will go back, but not anytime soon.

Ohh ya.. I also went to go see my friend Nathan in jail. Don't ask me why he is in jail, cuz i don't even know the whole story. All I know is he shouldn't be in there cuz he's a good guy, he just messed up in his past. Anyways... It was great to see him. He made me feel so relieved, cuz i was really worried about him. I also cheered him up cuz I made him laugh and he said he hasn't laughed in 4 weeks. score for me. But he is getting out of jail in the next 3 weeks. He says most likely this week. I hope he does! Well that was my day... fun huh?

Well I am going to be posting a lot more often now, cuz i have a lot more free time and I have a lot going on with me and I need to get it out. I should try to get sleep. Probably won't though.

Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: indescribable.

(4 kisses | kiss me)

17th April, 2004. 9:49 am. To My Beauties

I want to say happy birthday to Gabby and Shorty. I love you both very much. I wish i could be with you both, but i can't. I will talk to you both later, i just wanted to say it loud and clear......

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBY & SHORTY & I LOVE YOU BOTH.

Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: Just Ok.

(3 kisses | kiss me)

17th April, 2004. 3:07 am. Actually did it....

I really moved out!! I know live in Hawthorne with my aunt. Get out of that house and town was the best thing for me right now. I hurt my mom, but it's better off this way. At least for a while(long while). The hardest thing to do was say goodbye to my friends, my guard and my room. I cried so much at school today, it wasn't even funny! Don't know what else to say today. I have a lot of thoughts, but there are too many to talk about.... maybe another day.


Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: guilty.

(5 kisses | kiss me)

16th April, 2004. 11:55 am. gotta love the drama

Things aren't going to great at home right now. I am moving out. Im going to live with Syndee. I'm trying to leave as soon as possible. It might be today or on monday. But i am going to talk to my mom again and i am going to push her to let me leave today! I want the hell out of here. I already said goodbye to my friend. Which by the way, was so fucking hard. They are the only thing i am going to miss. I don't remember crying this much in a long time. Expecially when i said goodbye to: Gabby, Stephy, Amanda and Pooh Bear. It was so sad!
Ok i will write later about what happend. Laters

Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: crappy.

(3 kisses | kiss me)

10th April, 2004. 1:37 am. Ummm....

What's up people. I've been pretty much nothing. I'm on spring break right now. For about 4 days i went to my Aunts house. It was great, i got to escape and worry about nada. Plus i was able to hang out with Syndee and talk to someone who i know really cares. After i came home i had practice and then i had counseling. Counseling was ok. The lady i have is cool, so i feel comfortable talking to her. Besides that, i have been sleeping and being lazy. Sounds like fun...

I have been at Sndee's a lot lately. I feel great when i am there, so i try to be there as much as possible. She's made me a lot better both mentally and physically. Every friday and Saturday Syndee, Nicole and Alan go karaoking and hang out all night. We actually just got back from it right now. It's been great.... im not afraid to sing anymore and Nicole, Alan, Syndee and i have gotten a lot closer. They have become some of my closet friends. And they feel the same. The thing that sucks is that Nicole and Alan are moving to Springfield on Monday or Tuesday. But i did set up a lj for them.

I will do an actual update on how thing are going with me and how i feel another time. I just wanted to do a brief update. I will talk to you soon.

Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: flirty.

(3 kisses | kiss me)

2nd April, 2004. 11:44 am. Stole this from Chrystal

A - Age: 16
B - Band listening to right now: Nickleback
C - Career future: Photographer or Color Guard Instrusctor
D - Dad's name: Mike
E - Easiest person to talk to: Christy or Pooh Bear
F - Favorite song: Pat Benatar- Please don't leave me
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: gummy bears
H - Hometown: West Covina
I - Instruments: does a flag count??
J - Job: not untill summer.....
K - Kids: none yet
L - Longest car ride ever: From Arizona to Cali. Ohh so long, but worth it!
M - Mom's name: Carla
N - No. of people you've slept with: Thats for me to know.....
P - Phobia(s): Clowns
Q - Quote: The best thing in life is to love and be loved in return
R - Reason to smile: Knowing everything will be ok and will work out.
S - Song you sang last: No Doubt- Don't Speak(damn Winter Guard!!)
T - Time you wake up: 6:30
U - Unknown fact about me: How many schools i have actually gone to.
V - Vegetable(s) you hate: peas
W - Worst habit: picking at scabs
X - X-rays you've had: Wrist, Arm, Knee
Y - Yummy foods: Ice Cream
Z - Zodiac sign: Scoripio

Current mood: content.

(kiss me)

25th March, 2004. 12:19 pm.

TO PLAY I NEVER.
PUT AN (x) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE
AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD AN "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN.



I NEVER
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
( ) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(x) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(x) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(_) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX
(x) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(x) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT''S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(x) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(x) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(x) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(x) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER(substitute teacher)
(x) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(x) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(x) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(x) I NEVER HAD ANONYMOUS SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE GONE MORE THAN 48 HOURS W/O SLEEP
(x) I NEVER PAID FOR SEX
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN MARRIED

Can you tell i got bored??



Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: busy.

(kiss me)

16th March, 2004. 7:04 pm. Boo....

Im at my Aunts house right now. I spent the night and i didn't go to school. I need a day to just relax and just forget everything. I was on the virge of another breakdown and that wasnt cool. So i did the right thing and came here. It helped me too. Cuz even though there are good things going on right now, it is still very hard to get out of bed and do normal things. But ok enough of that.
Winter Guard got 1st again. Its cool, but for some reason i still aint happy. Ok, well i should go, cuz im at my Aunts house. later


Sara Ann Chandler
*duckie*

Current mood: confused.

(2 kisses | kiss me)

11th March, 2004. 9:24 pm. ****Recent Events****

The last time i wrote, i was about to call my dad. Well i did it. It was so fucking scary. I have never been so afraid of a damn phone in my life. But i did it and thats what matters. He also didn't take control over me. I had it. I asked him why he ever hit me and raped me and he told me he never sexually touched me. He said it soo calm too. It really pissed me off cuz you can tell in his voice that he was lying (even the detective could tell) and he said he already paid for what he did for me(hitting me). Today the detective went to go talk to him and now he knows everything. We are waiting for the detective to call us for we can know what happened. And once he calls us we are putting a restraining order on him, so he will never be able to hurt me, my family or anyone i love!! <

Ok enough of that. On Saturday we have a comp. I hope we do good. I think we will. :) After the comp i am going to my Aunts house. I have been going there a lot lately. I have been able to really talk to anyone besides her, so so really helps me. She is just what i need right now, since it feels like all my friends have been ditching me right as i need them. It really pisses me off. I always have everyone's back and as soon as i need their back, they just let me fall. The only people that have been there is my aunt, Christy and some days Gabby. Well i should go call someone. Laters

PS- I really miss all my friends in Santa Maria. You people know who you are. So e-mail me or call me. I MISS YOU.

Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: giddy.

(1 kiss | kiss me)

7th March, 2004. 7:56 am. long time....

hey there. Its been a while since i have written. I don't know why i haven't. A lot has been going on. Im in the middle of pressing charges on my dad. And I think either Monday or Wednesday the detective wants me to call my dad to try to get him to confess everything. I didn't want to at first, but i really thought about it and if he does confess i win. And i get to face my greatest fear and have the questions i have always want to know answered. Im still terrifed though. What if it is just like the past and i let him take control over me? I don't know if i will or not, cuz i haven't talked to him in 2 years. I have changed since then.

Ok on to better news. My flag team(Winter Guard) got first place at the competition we had last Saturday. It was great. I have never gotten first in anything im my whole life. Hopefully we can do as well as we did last Saturday on our next comp. I think we can. I know my girls and guy can do it.

I get my license in a week and a half. yay!!! i was going to get it this tuesday, but we don't have the money to fix the windshield and i can't take the test with a cracked windshield. Well I am going to go now. Bye Bye

 

 

Sara Ann Chandler

*duckie*



Current mood: discontent.

(kiss me)

22nd February, 2004. 5:00 am. wow... i have so much to tell...

A lot has happened since i last wrote. I don't want to tell the whole wide world so i am just going to say it wasn't good. Only certain people know about it and thats because i don't want everyone knowing and staring at me and thinking things. And if you have heard things and you didn't hear it from me, then ask me, rumors always love to go around about me. But I am all better now. The experience i went through really helped me. I appreciate a lot more things and i know who really cares about me and who i really care about.
Ohh one good thing that i don't mind people knowing about is, that there was a police report about my dad and what he did. So it is all going to happen. The social worker already came by our house but we weren't home, so we have to call her back. But i am pressing charges and i do have to face my dad in court. When they took the report i wasn't ready, but i think i am as ready for this as i ever will be. I just want that man to suffer and to know how it feels. He can fucking go to jail and drop the soap and become someones bitch. I know he will, cuz people in jail don't like people like him. But i wrote a poem about it. Its not great, i wrote it really fast. So here you go:

It Will All Be Ok
 
 
Everything will be fine.
I will do what i need to do.
And then I will have my freedom.
And so will my family.
 
Things always happen for a reason,
And this time it is for mine and my families freedom,
from that monster i call dad.
And the fear and pain he has caused.
 
It may be one hell of a ride,
but the result will be worth it.
And he will know how it feels to be in pain.
Plus i have been through worst situations.
 
We can all do this,
We just have to stick together,
And everything will work how it should.
 

 That was a mixture of how i feel and part of it was to help my mom and sister get through this too. I know if we stick together and we're strong, we can win. Ok bye now.

Sara Ann Chandler

 *duckie*



Current mood: And Nervous.

(1 kiss | kiss me)

14th February, 2004. 1:29 am. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

I just wanted to be the first one on lj to say happy valentines day. So i hope you all have a good day, and if you don't, just think, its just another day and it doesnt mean shit!!! And thats something new coming from my mouth. For the people that really know me, they know i hate this day. But i learned it doesn't mean anything, you should get sad cuz of the day. You shouldn't get mad that you don't have someone of one ceritan day, it matters if you have someone that means something to you at least once in your live. And i have have pleanty of people who are special to me and i love them with all my heart, and you people know who you are. So thank you to them. Well love you all and have a nice day.

Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: content.

(kiss me)

12th February, 2004. 9:15 pm. ....ladi da...

Nothing much happend today. Besides drama, pretty much nothing else. I actuall went to hang out with my old group of friends today, it felt very weird. I wanted to go back with gabby, but Amanda wanted to talk to me. So since i haven't talked to her in a while we went walking around. I missed you though gab!! lol. But when i got home from school today crystal said we are going to go get shorty. I was soo happy!! Well we picked her up and we went to the libary. I checked out two books, i have been wanting to get them for a while. It was cool, while we were at the libary me and shorty got to talk. It was nice to have a real conversation (besides the ones i have with Gabby). but then we had to take her home cuz she had to go do something with Crispy. Then after i droped her off, michael came over and so did christy. Me and Christy talked a lot. She finally talked to someone about how she felt latley. And so did i, and i haven't told any one how i feel in detail and me and her went into detail. But then we went to Frys to play free DDR. It was cool. I haven't played in forever!! I need to go more so i get better. I am doing better than i use to. I use to really sux!! But i am going to go now, i need to do some stuff. laters

Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: bouncy.

(kiss me)

7th February, 2004. 6:19 pm. Counting down the days

I have been practicing soo much lately. Yesturday we had practice after school, like normal, til 5:30. But today we had a really long pracitice. It was from 8 in the morning til 3 in the afternoon. I woke up 15 min before i had to leave. I was almost late. We are practicing a lot more cuz we have a comp. in two weeks to the day. Our rutin is fun though!! yay, nothing like last year. I think we can do good at the comp, if we put our minds on it!! But ya, i will stop boring you with that.
I don't want it to be Valentines Day on Saturday. I hate the day. First of all it reminds me of my ex, cuz thats our anniversary, second, i have no one to share it with, and third, its on a saturday, i have to stay home and do nothing and think, "Ummm..... I wonder if i will ever have someone on Valentines?" But just being stupid. Its just a stupid day and i will live through it and plus i have people that love me, who cares if its not in that way, i only want one person right now, but thats another story. Ok i will talk to you peoples later. Later


Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: tired.

(7 kisses | kiss me)

5th February, 2004. 9:17 pm.

Today was cool. It was the peer resources thing. And the jazzy band went to play, so me and amanda went to watch them. They are getting really good. The last couple of days has been really fun. Me and gabby have just basically left our "group" of friends and hang out by ourselfs. We eat lunch then we go hang out with Jonathan and Mario. They are so much fun, they always make me laugh every time i am with them. Good times Good Times. What else it new? Think Sara think......... I am doing good in school. Thats not that exiting. Ohh... Our first comp. for winter guard is on the 28th. I dont' think we are ready. We dont' even know all of our rutin yet. On Saturday we are supost to learn the rest. I'll see.... my guard is really lazy. grr. ohh ya... Invader Zim is coming out on DVD. yay. On March 11 i think it was. Hell ya. Ok, i am going to go know. later


Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: crappy.

(kiss me)

3rd February, 2004. 5:47 pm. So me!!!

10
Protector Fairy
Please rate my quiz I worked really hard for this
thanks


Which Fairy are you?(for anyone many out comes)
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: restless.

(kiss me)

2nd February, 2004. 11:09 pm. Contacts Suck!!!!

My eye hurts like a bitch and i want to go to sleep. I had to start wearing contacts and one of my contacts got stuck in my left eye. I can't get it out and my eye is red and there is nothing i can do about it. It hurts!!!! grr. Im so confussed right now. It has to do with 4 people. Im not naming them and im not discussing it, i just wanted to say i was confused. lol. I wanna leave Pomona and go back to Santa Maria. I miss it so fucking bad. I will steal Gabby and Stephy and we will just run away. Thats sounds good. Why does life have to be so damn confusing and hard? I know it just is and theres nothing i can do about it, but it sucks. I am going to go to sleep or at least try to.


Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: exhausted.

(1 kiss | kiss me)

30th January, 2004. 11:04 pm. SLEEP.......

I am so tired but i can't sleep. I have been in Crystals room just hanging out with Alo and Micheal playing cards, smoking, and talking. We are all talking about how tired we are and how we need sleep, but none of us have the energy to go to our room(or im Micheals case, go home). So i finally got the energy to get up and now i can't sleep. So here i am. Nothing much has been going on with me. I am getting better with how happy i have been. Theres still the molments that i feel like just giving up, but i know i won't do it. I am so pissed of right now though. At school, someone stole my walet. I had $40 and all my ids and bank card. It sucks. They took it right out of my back pack. ohh that pisses me off. And now my mom is all pissed at me too. What was i supost to do if someone stole my shit.
Tomorrow is going to be so much fun. I am going to watch the filming of Star Search and Family Fued. I can't wait. So many of my friends are going. It will be great. Ok since i have to wake up at 7 i am going to try to get sleep(even though i know i won't). SO i will talk to you later.


Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: sleepy.

(kiss me)

28th January, 2004. 12:15 pm. The life of a duck.....

Nothing is been going on lately. I have been missing school for the last two days. Yesturday i missed it because my stomach got the best of me and today because i woke up late. so i have just been chilling at home. I've been hanging out with my sister and Alo more. I am having fun with them. But i am still not to happy. I don't know why, but i think i am starting to find out. My friends are leaving me. Dead boy left, Monkey left, and now gabby. And in a month or so Pooh bear is leaving. And i miss all of my frineds in Santa Maria. I talk to them every once in a while, but its not the same. I talk to andrew when he get on line, which is almost never, and i talk to alex basically every other day. Which kinda sucks, cuz when i do talk to him, its when i call him and we only talk for like 30 mins. Its sounds like im just being a baby, but i don't know, im just not happy. I want it to change. I try to be happy, but its just an act. What my friends call a flag girl smile. Hopefully i will have fun tonight. There is a basketball game. I have to go to practice at 3 then i get out at 5. And then the call time for the band is 5:45 or 6. so ya. I know i will have fun this weekend. On Saturday i am going with Mr loya and a bunch of people to a filming of Star Search and Family Fued. And on Sunday its the super bowl and we are having a party. So ya. Good times. I need to clean my room. So bye.


Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: depressed.

(1 kiss | kiss me)

24th January, 2004. 4:21 pm.

goodbroken
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: sick.

(kiss me)

24th January, 2004. 11:58 am.

I hate being sick. It sucks. I can't breathe, and my voice sounds all weird because of my throught. i hate it. I am going to go sleep. bye

Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: sick.

(kiss me)

22nd January, 2004. 6:50 pm. ladi lada...

My day was ok. Nothing special. School was ok. I did good on my finals. I got a b+ on my Spanish final and i don't know about my History, but i think i did good. Abraham left today. I didn't want him to leave. He made me cry when i said bye. But when i got home i felt better. Ferrnie came over and we just chilled. We looked through all of my old pictures and laughed at how dorky some of them. I have so many black male pictures. Then we took him home and we went over to cristina's house. I saw chibi and shorty. It was great i missed them. Shorty is sweet, she said i made her day. I love seeing them, they are great people, i really love them. Nothing else really happend. So i am going to do something, anything. bye

Sara Ann Chandler

Current mood: calm.

(2 kisses | kiss me)

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